Criatividade eh tudo

Andei procurando um texto que havia visto quando morava nos Estados Unidos, sete anos atras. Foi dificil, mas achei.
Trata-se de uma redacao feita por um aluno que queria entrar em uma universidade americana. Pelo que encontrei parece que ele entrou na Universidade procurada, a NYU (New York University), se bem que a imagem mostra SouthHampton University... vai saber.De qualquer maneira, o texto surpreende.
O original, salvo em GIF, pode ser visto aqui.

Have fun!

In order for the admissions staff of our college to get to know you, the applicant, better, we ask that you answer the following question:
Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Kenyan refugees, I write award-winning operas, and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I had trials with Manchester United, I am the subject of numerous documentaries.

When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang-gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have appeared on "Through the Keyhole" and won the gold plaque.

Last summer I toured Eastern Europe with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I run the 100m in 9.65 secs. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with dead accuracy. I once read "Paradise Lost", "Moby Dick", and "David Copperfield" in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening.

I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair.

While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.

Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only some vegetables and a Breville Toaster. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in Madrid, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and chess competitions at the Kremlin. I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to this University.